What is the proper way to ask someone if we still meeting tomorrow?

Question:

I asked a friend to meet up in person. He said we can meet tomorrow. 

What is the correct way to ask if he still going to come to the meeting?

Should I use: 

• Is the meeting still on? 

• Are we still going to meet up? 

Is there another way to ask that question based on English language grammar?

Answers:

1. I'll come to the point straight. I guess it is about the still part which makes the proposition a reconfirmation and not a mere request.

• I hope we are still meeting tomorrow as planned? (Formal & Humble)
• I hope the meeting is still on? (Informal)
• Is the meeting still on? (Informal)
• Are we still catching up tomorrow? (Casual)
• Is there any change of plans for tomorrow's meeting?
• Hope the plan for tomorrow's meeting still holds good!

And one can go on.......

2. Both ways you have presented are common and grammatically fine. You might also ask, in a less formal way, "Are we still good for tomorrow?". Your friend, remembering your previous plans, will understand.

(But, especially when spoken by a non-native English speaker, the ambiguous "good for tomorrow" is apt to be confusing. It makes more sense to simply ask "Are we still having a meeting tomorrow?", or some such. – Hot Licks Jul 3 '16 at 1:07)

Those Confirmation Jitters

4pm and still no confirmed time or place? Brande offers solutions to a letter writer whose dates give her day-of anxiety.  

Q. I run into this problem constantly and I’m looking for a solution. I use dating apps pretty much exclusively to meet people. I have no problems matching and securing dates. The problem comes with the actual logistics of setting up a date. 

Here’s what will typically happen: we’ll chat for a bit, the guy will ask me out for say, Thursday, and I’ll agree. Then he’ll respond, “Great, sounds good!” and I won’t hear from him for the rest of the week…until Thursday, around 3 or 4pm! By that point I’m having extreme anxiety — did he forget about the date? Are we still on? Where am I supposed to meet him, and when? It’s actually really annoying because I want to be able to plan my outfit, especially if I’m coming straight from work. If I have no idea where we’re going this becomes difficult. I also want to be able to plan time to shower, get ready, etc. I want to make a great first impression and feel relaxed, knowing the plan. 

My question is: how do I get these guys to understand that it’s really annoying and borderline rude to wait until the LAST possible second to plan a specific place and time? I don’t want to come off pushy or aggressive since they’re the one doing the asking out. I also don’t want to look desperate by texting something like, “So where and when are we meeting Thursday?” the day before. HELP!

Chelsea, New York, NY

A. I must confess: when reading your question, in addition to nodding my head in “been there” agreement, I had an Oprah moment. To paraphrase one of Queen O’s favorite sayings: when it comes to men, what I know for sure is when they want something, they go after it. If you need extra confirmation, consider this: 86 percent of men say they initiate asking someone out all or most of the time. Bottom line? If he wants to see you, he. Will. Ask. You. Out. 

In this case, men who don’t bother to set concrete plans don’t really want “it” — “it” being a serious relationship with someone who wants to be treated like more than an afterthought.

Let me clarify that this lack of interest is in no way a reflection of your amazing qualities as a woman; people are just lazy these days. A first date used to be a huge planned out event; now it’s a 3 pm, “Hey, wanna grab drinks? I’m in your ‘hood,” type of thing. In addition, many men simply don’t realize the amount of time women like to spend getting ready for a first date — 80 percent of women spend more than 30 minutes getting ready for a date, while only 54 percent of men do. 

86 percent of men say they initiate asking someone out all or most of the time.

There are two ways you can approach these types of situations. One is to grab ahold of the dating reins yourself. If a guy asks you out for Thursday, don’t just agree to his ambiguous offer; get the details right away. Better yet, offer some meet-up suggestions of your own. Say something like, “Thursday works. How about 6 pm? There’s a great spot on (insert street name) that has Happy Hour ‘til 7 pm.” 

If he gives the OK, now you have a plan. You know you can shower at 3 pm, get a blowout at 4 pm, throw on your skirt and heels, and make it to the place in just enough time to make a stunning first impression. 

80 percent of women spend more than 30 minutes getting ready for a date. That number drops to 54 percent for men. 

If you still prefer to let a man lead and plan the first gathering, then the only approach you’re left with when he comes through with a last-minute text is to decline. You don’t have to be nasty about it. Simply say, “Hey, I hadn’t heard from you about plans so I made other ones. Can we reschedule for Saturday night?” You’re still leaving the ball in his court to right his wrong (i.e. set a time and a place), but you’re also setting a tone that says “I have a life. If you want in on it, you need to follow through before something or someone else occupies my time.”

Also to keep in mind: there’s  nothing wrong with texting “Hey, are we still on for tomorrow?” the night before an agreed upon meeting date. Ideally, you wouldn’t have to because the guy would have already followed up, but life gets busy and when you’re in the early stages of dating multiple people, you may forget to confirm drinks here and a movie there. 

If, after trying all the above solutions, the guy still can’t nail down a time and place in a timely manner…he’s just not serious. If, however, he responds enthusiastically with a set plan, forgive his forgetfulness just this once, but make sure he doesn’t make a habit of being a poor planner. If he does, he’ll likely make a poor boyfriend as well.

BRANDE VICTORIAN 

Brande Victorian is the creator of Be-Enough.comwhere she chronicles tales of love in the time of weight loss along with other musings of her health and wellness journey. She also serves as Managing Editor of MadameNoire.com. Follow her on Twitterand Instagram. Send questions to Brande at advice@hinge.co.

HINGE ON INSTAGRAM

Comments:

Anne Ornelas

This is happening to me as we speak! Since last Wednesday have been texting with someone who has been very interested, even said so. We even spoke on the phone on Sunday night and while we didn't confirm a time, we both said we were very much looking forward to our Tuesday meeting. Monday--silence to two playful texts I sent, which fine he was back at work and likely busy--but really you can't just send a quick text to say busy day? Tuesday, this evening we are supposed to meet at a local trail/park to go for a walk (which I suggested and he said he really liked that idea instead of a bar). Sent a text this morning to confirm the time...so far, nothing! And the ultimately funny thing about all this? He was complimenting me at being a good communicator, it's one of the things that he values in a relationship.

Like · Reply · 1y

Robin Wenz

LOL I think we are sharing the same man Anne Omelas! Basically send a text saying, "I just really don't think we can be friends. Good luck in your search." There's a good chance you'll get a response back. If he asks, "why not?" Just say we aren't on the same page and I feel like you're stringing me along and the communication has been terrible. We really need to talk in person because texting is not a good way to communicate." If he texts back it will either be to a) string you along again after apologies, b) tell you good luck in your search (in which case you can cut the strings that …See More

Like · Reply · 1 · 1y

Marilyn Zink

I usually ask, where do you want to meet? If he can't confirm a time and place right away, then bye. I can't be bothered waiting around. It's his job to also confirm on the day of, otherwise, see ya! A quality man will make concrete plans.

Like · Reply · 3 · 46w

Zareh Artinian

Or hers! I’ve been on the opposite end of this where I ask a woman to confirm a time after we’ve agreed on a place and day to meet and I never hear back. When I write to ask her to confirm she never bothers writing back.

Like · Reply · 14w

Zareh Artinian

As a man, I’ve been on the other side of this. I ask a woman out and we make plans to get together, but then when we need to confirm the actual time and place or any other logistics, I never hear back. I write follow up messages asking if we’re still on and what time she wants to meet and I get crickets.

I find this extremely rude and inconsiderate. If she has other plans or is no longer interested the least she could do is tell me that. To just give me the silent treatment when I’ve held the evening for her and not made plans with other people is incredibly inconsiderate.

My question is how long do I wait before we were supposed to meet before telling her that I’ve made other plans and forget about it?

How to Response "Do you have any plan for the weekend?"

Learning American Culture:
https://www.englishclass101.com/lesson/learn-british-english-in-three-minutes-24-do-you-have-any-plans-for-the-weekend/


Be sure to ask this casually. Your body language and facial expression are also important. If the person feels like you’re putting pressure on them to say that they’re free, they may feel uncomfortable.
“The weekend” in English usually includes Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday.
So they might respond like this:
“I’m going out with my friends on Friday and shopping on Sunday, but I’m not doing anything on Saturday.”
“Not doing anything on Saturday” is a neutral version of saying “I’m free on Saturday”. Saying “I’m free on Saturday” signals to the other person that you would be actively open to doing something with them then, so be careful if you’re answering this question.
Here’s your chance to ask the person if they want to go to a movie, for example. Instead of asking directly, say:
“I was thinking of going to see that new movie on Saturday. Do you feel like coming along?”
“Do you feel like?” is a more indirect way of asking “Do you want to?”
How can you respond to an invitation like this?
If you want to go, then you can say:
“Sure! That sounds great.”
And then you can follow this up with:
“What time and where?”
This is a very useful phrase for when you want to casually ask about time and place, so I would memorise it!
However, what do you do if you want to refuse an invitation like this without hurting the person’s feelings?
Well, instead of saying “no” straight out, it’s best to say that you’re “not sure”. First of all though, say something like:
“That sounds really fun, but...”
Then add:
“I’m not sure if I can. Let’s catch up another time soon though!”
Even if this isn’t strictly true, it is a more polite way to refuse an invitation than a flat-out “no”.
Now it’s time for Gina’s Tips!
In this lesson, we took care not to be too forward when asking someone to do something, but of course this all depends on the personality of the person you’re asking. If they’re a friendly, forward person, you don’t have to worry so much about being too direct - just say “Do you wanna see a movie this weekend?” But even in this situation, a good tip is to add in the super-useful word “maybe” to take some pressure off: “Do you maybe wanna see a movie this weekend?”


Dating Culture
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15948664.aspx

Advice D:
You could say: Nothing special planned yet, why, have any ideas? 
If he answers with : Hmmm, no, not really, might stay home too, 

then you know he didn't mean to ask for a date ;)

Advice C:
From my experience when a guy has asked this he's usually seeing if I'm busy before asking me out. If I say "No, I don't have plans yet", it gives him a green light to ask me out =)

Advice B:
In reality, you'll likely have some errands to run and possibly some free time. Tell as much as you feel comfortable with so he knows you have a life, but convey that you can make time. Then see what comes out of it. I would bet a good amount that he is itching to ask you out. Why else would he care?

If you don't like him, you can say: "None of your business."
If you are moderately interested, you can say: "My plans can wait if you have better suggestions."
If you are bold, you can say: "My plans are to meet you, I'm glad you texted me."
If you are bold and in a hurry, you can say: "My plans are to make coffee Sunday morning. What type of filters does your machine use?"

Advice A:

weekend plans?  Not much of any. I need to clean my home. That's about it. You? Have any plans this weekend? When a guy asks do have plans this weekend what does that mean?  It means "Please tell me what you are planning to do this weekend." Is he asking because he wants to get together  Maybe. or to hear my answer then in return tell me all his plans  Maybe. Is he asking because he wants to get together or to hear my answer then in return tell me all his plans  Maybe both. Not looking to text for weeks .  Then why not make plans for the weekend for what you want to do and invite him. If he says anything but "yes," or, "I have plans that day, how about later that afternoon or the next day," like if he says something asinine like "well, I want to sit online and 'get to know you' more," then you move on. It doesn't seem that complicated.